Shake it like a man!

Throughout history, men have made the world proud with their achievements, be it the wheel or something more recent but equally important, like nose-hair trimmers. However, there are times when the male species ends up looking really stupid. The invasion of Iraq is one such instance, especially when Bush learnt that it wasn't pronounced 'EYE-Raq' after all.

Of course, you needn't visit 'Incredible Iraq!' to witness displays of male stupidity. Just walk into the nearest club or discotheque, and you'll know what I mean. On one hand, there will be a few (or many, depending on your luck) beautiful women, moving their lithe, sensuous bodies to the music. After slipping on a puddle of your own drool, your gaze will fall on the men. With their "Sunny-Deol-meets-Shakira-and-gets-shock therapy" moves, they're quite impossible to miss. And that, my friends, is the greatest folly of the male species.

Let's face it - all men are born with two left feet, with about thirteen toes on each foot. Unless of course, they're dragged on to the dance floor. After all, it's impossible to resist when a bevy of barely-clad beauties beseech you to boogie with them. Or so I've been told. These guys who, 4 pegs down, fancied themselves to be the love spawn of Michael Jackson and Prabhudeva (scary thought, that).

The male dance repertoire boasts of a number of snazzy moves, two of which are 'Crotch Adjustment: Align or Die!' and 'Reconnaissance: Are the Bitches Looking Yet?'. So that leaves us with these scintillating moves:

1. 'Joey's your daddy!':

Flash goofy grin on face, stretch arms out and trace out circles in the air, taking care to keep your butt jutting away from your body like an iceberg out of the ocean. Ok that may sound like a weird analogy, but watch 5 drunken men do this and you'll know what I mean. Not that the Joey dance transforms them into playboys, but as Chandler would say, 'Could it BE any more fun?'.

2. 'O Mummy Where Art Thou':

More popularly known as the 'Walk Like An Egyptian' step, it involves running around pyramids with Rachel Wiesz. No wait, that's just how Brendan Fraser does it. The rest of us run to the bar and back, and when we're tired of running, we put one hand to our foreheads, the other protruding like a tail, and bob our heads like a bad Bharatnatyam dancer. If you didn't get that, never mind - it degenerates into pelvic thrusts anyway. Horny mofos, those Egyptians were.

3. 'Naked Nagin':

Ok the 'naked' in the title is just a cheap tactic to catch your eye (it worked, didn't it?). Of course, when it comes to grabbing eyeballs, the Nagin step is second only to wearing a 'Just Do It' T-shirt at an HIV-prevention seminar. Made famous by the Sridevi blockbuster Nagin, it thankfully does not involve getting anywhere close to a man named Boney.('Boney'? What were his parents thinking? Maybe he was an exceptionally happy child). No, the Nagin step requires you to raise your arms over your head like a hood and jiggle your man-breasts violently, leaving the ladies breathless. Breathless with laughter, that is.

There are some other steps that men manage, like the Bhangra, which involves yelling " Hoe hoe hoe! Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!! " at regular intervals. There's also the 'I-have-loose-motions-and-will-not-move-too-much', wherein you sway gently, trying to not upset your delicate digestive balance.

I'd love to elaborate more on the men who bastardize their brethren's reputation with their repugnant attempts at dance, but I must stop here. It's time for my salsa class you see.:)))

P.S - This post is meant strictly in good humour :) So, all My male readers ( of my blog, you pervert) are requested not to take it personally. plisssh. I feel extreme joy in announcing the author's (yup, dats me) complete disregard in case any "man" feels offended at this innocent, all meant in good humour post. hic. Aint I nice?? :)))

Liberal Arts Leftovers

Yes, this is the most fantabulous (if that's a word) thing I've come across on the internet. I came across this site, basically a blog by this name. Frankly, the name intrigued me and hence, prompted me to click on the site. And guess, what I discovered?
A whole blog dedicated to students who have just graduated or are about to graduate in BA with English majors. Did someone talk about right timing??? :p

Now, what does the term Liberal Arts Leftovers basically mean?
The author of the blog, who apparently is a graduate in English majors put it like this:
A Liberal Arts Leftover is someone who has mastered the set of skills necessary for the college social environment only to graduate and find themselves a freshman in life–trying to figure out new social systems not to mention professional environments.*

Yes, we graduates in English majors are fed on the idea of liberalism for complete three years (four years in some countries). Only to be left completely clueless and Jobless (mind it) in a not so liberal professional world. Thus, we are the leftovers who can bullshit their way through anything and feel proud of their degrees (like I do) no matter what! Yes, we feel accomplished to be the Liberal Arts Leftovers.

Man, I couldnt agree more. While typing this post, I am reminded of the fact that there are probably twenty or thirty more Liberal Arts Leftovers like me with some sort of Humanities degrees in hands sitting in front of their own computers reading or writing a blog entry. Actually may be more than that considering the current economy.

I realised a lot of my blogs have been too self obsessed. While writing this post, I tried of thinking various things that people might be interested in reading. But apparently, I'm out of touch with rest of the world and IPL and politics (two current sensations) dont interest me much to write about. And lets face it, If you're just about to graduate from college and you're not married with kids, you've got to be thinking about yourself!!!

I'm selfish.

I've decided certain things that I want from my life now:

• Take the CAT this year
• Learn how to cook all the exotic dishes I always wanted to
• Be impressive
• Charge money for friendship (genuiness comes at a price)
• Eat more vegetables (basically eat more stuff apart from chocolates)
• Become a regular at jogging
• Get the goddamned raise to my expected level on job front
• Spend more of my salary on myself.
  
• And, join some decent MBA coaching institute or if I'm very very lucky, a good mass communication insititute. Whatever happens first.
  

In other news, I've also somewhat figured out the meaning of life. And I'm not telling.

One of the main reasons why I'm writing this post is

simply because I'm bored.

I've got loads of things to do but prefer procrastinating at blogville.
Another 33 days and I'd be a f******g graduate. Another addition to the other millions of jobless grads.
The good news is I already got a job today. So, I partly know where my life is headed immediately after my final exams get over. Yup, you guessed it right. Its office.

Darn, the mere thought freaks me out. Though the job is what I always wanted and salary is just about okay too. Just keeping my fingers crossed that I do get through a decent sa college for my post graduation in mass communication. Else, I'll have to drop a year, slog in the office and prepare again. yikes.

Three wild years of graduation made me realise certain things

• I absolutely, perfectly, completely, with all my heart (nd liver, stomach, pancreas nd other anatomy stuff) HATE bitches. (Both male and female versions) ..if you know what I mean
• I believe that karma rocks....I dont give any crap to others, neither do I take any.
  
• Moral policing is downright irritating and stupid. (Got lots to tell about it, will need another post)
• Curiousity is good. It makes us dig for success with renewed enthusiasm every day.
• I finally realised that I do not have to give an effing shit to useless people around me who keep making life hell for others.
  
• Its perfectly alright if half of the society you live in thinks that you're unapproachable, anti social and have got attitude.@ this so -called society :- Do others a favour, mind your own business.
  
• You and only you are responsible for what you do with your life and for every action that you take. Dont try to place the blame on circumstances, family, friends.....That not the way it works. The sooner you realise this, the better.
  
• I realised that your eyes will not see what your mind does not know.
  
• Do not try to justify yourself everytime you are wronged. You will never owe a justification to people who are not going to believe you...(why bother!). Others will still love you and understand you without having to say any thing.
  
• Letting yourself free every once in a while is great. Its fun.
  
• There is nothing sexy about shouting. Neither about raising hands/fists on your loved ones. (domestic violence). It only shows how frustrated and coward you are.
• On an ending note, live your life while you are still at it. Its the only chance, one life that you've got.
  

Me done. Will catch some sleep before I hit my books again. :((