Thinking of another.......

"You, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection!!!"

This was a SMS i received three years ago. From a random, middle aged stranger and I still haven't been able to fathom it.
You must be wondering why did a stranger message me? And how on earth did he got my number?
Well, it was a warm December morning. I had bunked my college to be with my best friend at Connaught Place (Delhi). We were sitting in the central park when suddenly this middle aged man came up from nowhere telling us that he was new to the city and kinda lost in CP. He was looking for his driver and requested if he could use our cellphone to call his driver up. Gullible, as I was, I promptly gave him my cell thinking he deserved to be helped.
After calling up his driver, he struck up a chat with me and my friend. Told us he was a theater director from Mumbai and was in Delhi to visit a show at IHC. I will not deny the fact that the man seemed genuine, well-read and intelligent. We chatted with him comfortably, thinking of him as a man of our father's age...(somebody who definitely wouldn't flirt with a first year college student, that's me).

Later, that evening, I got a call from a Mumbai number. Apparently, it was the same middle aged guy inviting me to attend his play at IHC. I politely refused. And, since then, rudely ignored all his calls and messages.

After a month, I got this message and somehow it sticks with me. I don't know if it was an insult or suggestion.Maybe it was his way of getting back at me, of not reciprocating to his calls and invitations. I don't know why I keep it. I've never heard from that old man again. But it has been there in my inbox since the last three years. Will delete it the day I understand it.

But today, there was something more I learned about love and affection. And won't rest till I've blurted it all out. I've learned that it's weird being in a long distance relationship It's that sometimes I forget that there's actually two people and not just one pair. I forget that there is this one person who has willingly made a choice to
  • call me up everyday, no matter how tired he is!
  • to listen to my random ramblings, pacify the bitch in me when I go mad without losing his cool (all this over the phone, being quite a few hundred kilometers away)
  • to bear up with me!
  • I forget that this person here with me is making the choice to stay with me every aching minute of every day, never mind that his physical presence is not felt;
  • that this person is not obligated to be here, but that he simply wants to because he cares about me and loves me that much.
But then there's days I remember that this other person is not an extension of me, that he sometimes makes decisions I wouldn't make, and do things that I wouldn't do. So when something like that sets us apart, it feels weird, that one of us is not in the same page as the other, sometimes not even in the same sentence. It might be upsetting and even infuriating, but at the end of the day you realize that what's important in a relationship is just being able to work together to make it a team again and not a competition.

No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous. ~Henry Brooks Adams, The Education of Henry Adams, 1907

She is still calling you....

So, this is it guys. I haven't been very active on blogsville of late, courtesy my new college. The admission hysteria and the mad rush for assignments, projects and what not has been taking up all of my time. I haven't even had the time to jog or go for my morning walks. This college forces me to leave home by 6 am. Yes, it's that early.

But, but, but, I'm not regretting my decision to come to this place. Not even for a second. Pursuing a master's in journalism at Times of India is akin to learning the tricks of the trade from the horse's mouth. I couldn't have asked for anything else. Right from interviewing random people on the streets, making documentaries, visiting news channel studios, et al. I'm in the process of doing it all. And it's fun. Since the last few days, I had been too submerged in assignments. One of them was rather interesting. It was on autobiography of a female foetus. My work got appreicated, mainly because this is one topic i could relate to. I'm posting a short snippet of my long assignment here.

An Aborted Female Baby's Call

It’s me, mom
It’s me, dad
It’s me, granny
Your baby speaking from the waste bin
your female baby
that you murdered
last night
with the help of
that doctor and her staff
I cried
I screamed
I begged
but nobody
heard my screams
then I went dead
after the poison was instilled
into the womb
where I was growing
you, mom
you, dad
you, granny
made all the arrangements
for my murder
after sonography
you were in so much of the hurry
to get rid of me
that you did not even
discussed the matter
I began shivering in dark
in uterus
when I felt the decision of
your eyes
your heart
your mind
to detach my soul
from my growing body
and send me to the world unknown
heaven or hell
you were not bothered about
you all felt peaceful
after I was
withdrawn dead
into pieces
everyone confirmed my body
to be of a female
which was then thrown into the waste bin
I am still lying in the bin
waiting for the van
that collects the bio-medical waste
and carries it up to the incinerator
Kindly convey my heartiest thanks
to the driver who carries the van
to the people who are working on incinerator
for performing my last rites
Mom, I am gone now
Dad, I am gone now
Granny, I am gone now
I know
I do not belong to you, now
of course, you still belong to me
until my body parts perish
so I request you to fulfill my last desire
be there at the incinerator
until my cremation
so that I may travel peacefully
to God's place
and make him understand
please don't send female babies
in the womb of those moms or the families
for whom
they are unwanted
please don't
subject your babies
to the pain of murder
only because they are females
please understand, God
It is easier for them
to murder
their daughters
than to
murder the social evils
evil traditions
that make the girl child
EVERYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO WISH MY DEPARTED SOUL TO REST IN PEACE is invited at the incinerator that disposes off bio-medical waste.