Thinking of another.......


"You, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection!!!"

This was a SMS i received three years ago. From a random, middle aged stranger and I still haven't been able to fathom it.
You must be wondering why did a stranger message me? And how on earth did he got my number?
Well, it was a warm December morning. I had bunked my college to be with my best friend at Connaught Place (Delhi). We were sitting in the central park when suddenly this middle aged man came up from nowhere telling us that he was new to the city and kinda lost in CP. He was looking for his driver and requested if he could use our cellphone to call his driver up. Gullible, as I was, I promptly gave him my cell thinking he deserved to be helped.
After calling up his driver, he struck up a chat with me and my friend. Told us he was a theater director from Mumbai and was in Delhi to visit a show at IHC. I will not deny the fact that the man seemed genuine, well-read and intelligent. We chatted with him comfortably, thinking of him as a man of our father's age...(somebody who definitely wouldn't flirt with a first year college student, that's me).

Later, that evening, I got a call from a Mumbai number. Apparently, it was the same middle aged guy inviting me to attend his play at IHC. I politely refused. And, since then, rudely ignored all his calls and messages.

After a month, I got this message and somehow it sticks with me. I don't know if it was an insult or suggestion.Maybe it was his way of getting back at me, of not reciprocating to his calls and invitations. I don't know why I keep it. I've never heard from that old man again. But it has been there in my inbox since the last three years. Will delete it the day I understand it.

But today, there was something more I learned about love and affection. And won't rest till I've blurted it all out. I've learned that it's weird being in a long distance relationship It's that sometimes I forget that there's actually two people and not just one pair. I forget that there is this one person who has willingly made a choice to
  • call me up everyday, no matter how tired he is!
  • to listen to my random ramblings, pacify the bitch in me when I go mad without losing his cool (all this over the phone, being quite a few hundred kilometers away)
  • to bear up with me!
  • I forget that this person here with me is making the choice to stay with me every aching minute of every day, never mind that his physical presence is not felt;
  • that this person is not obligated to be here, but that he simply wants to because he cares about me and loves me that much.
But then there's days I remember that this other person is not an extension of me, that he sometimes makes decisions I wouldn't make, and do things that I wouldn't do. So when something like that sets us apart, it feels weird, that one of us is not in the same page as the other, sometimes not even in the same sentence. It might be upsetting and even infuriating, but at the end of the day you realize that what's important in a relationship is just being able to work together to make it a team again and not a competition.

No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous. ~Henry Brooks Adams, The Education of Henry Adams, 1907

12 comments:

peter | August 23, 2009 at 10:22 AM

strangers when preach, I feel like ignoring the shit irrespective f how gud it is or allowing them to make an impression that I am arrogant by just giving a berserk opinion.

That mssg is however nice..at least u I am able to relate to it...
Long distance relationships also workout .LAK taught me ;)

acchi post hai !

Abhinav | August 23, 2009 at 2:48 PM

I guess that sms just means that every one is not evil, sad, angry and frustrated as the other.. Probably it means that everyone is in fact evil, sadistic, and wants to take advantage of the other...

Its just upon us in the end, which we want to direct our relationships!

These kind of posts do something to your mind..! :)

The Crystal Heart | August 25, 2009 at 3:30 AM

After Deep & Frozen Thoughts...I come 2 the conclusion that....this type of sms....Only Sended by 1 side Rejected Losser boys to beautiful & gorgeous gals For Frdshp n all.....Maybe That Old Man donot get his true love.....becoz he is genius & non famous & unsuccessful director.....In his Career Time...he didnot give time for ownself & his gf... & Old man Still Bachelor..Might be his gf ditched (GPL) him...n married with someone else...God knows......That y he said Everyone Deserve his True Love & Affection...he only wanted U replied him n Said Uncle Donot worry u wil get ur True Love Soon.plz donot lose hopes....& also asked or lissen his Romantic Tragedic A 1947 Love Story.....

Donot Worry it was not an Insult...Waise Bhi No One Talk Panga With Prianca Arora Untill He donot Love His Life & make his life bloody hell lolz..

Waise Bhi U Already Got & deserve Ur True Love & also Happy With him..& A brilliant Career...So Donot Take any Tensions...

P.S.....24 August My Happy Birthday .....Actually I prefer or

Anonymous | August 25, 2009 at 7:39 PM

its gud to know tat u feel tat ur partner also hv sme desires ad interest in other fields which r nt even close to u. he is not an another part of u and can act,or feel in a very different manner than wat u expected!!!
love lies in dealing each problem together ad nt in doing always wat he/she likes.

Prianca | August 26, 2009 at 1:03 PM

@ PETER
dude, wat is .LAK?
enlighten me

Prianca | August 26, 2009 at 1:05 PM

@ abhinav
well said. thanku. I'm glad that at least I'm capable of doing something to others minds, never mind that i do not have a mind of my own.

phew! :)

Prianca | August 26, 2009 at 1:05 PM

@ the crystal heart
happy birthday! :)

Prianca | August 26, 2009 at 1:06 PM

@ anonymous
ur being anonymous doesn't help your case dear. i can always figure you out.
m glad that you liked it. at least, m somewhere on the right track

The Crystal Heart | August 26, 2009 at 9:13 PM

Thank You...So Sweet Of U....Genius Angel You didnot Give your Valuable, Sharp, Genuine & Too The Point Opinion On My Silly Willy Comments lol......Take Care Bye....

pj | August 27, 2009 at 12:37 PM

Well the person who sent you the msg didn't keep pestering you with messages any further so he doesnt look like some stalker.
There are so many things and people in life that are completely beyond our understanding...no matter how much we try, in the end we come back to the same question 'why did that happen?'...
When time fails to answer this question all you can do is smile and shrug it off :D

and its good to know that there is someone, who even after being away from you still loves you so much.Very few people find such love.

frontier | September 2, 2009 at 12:56 AM

well Nice post....

bt according to me.. dat SMS clearly showin..
..
Respect is not a gift U have to earn it!!

if u want someone shud present near you at the tym of good nd bad.. there must be someone in da earth whoreally expect the same thing frm u...

Anonymous | November 15, 2009 at 1:58 PM

the last quote ws d best part of it..
btw sometimes in life it aint gud 2 be dat philosophical. d first thing i wd do wd be del dat "deep" mesg.
dat kinda stuff happens hypothetically all d time. but dats me ...!