Learning to stick...

When I was young,young enough where my mind was uninfluenced, uninspired to be impressed upon and all that I was armed with was a rather naive understanding of the world.......Yes, that was the time when some of my most important character traits were born.Some of my most prominent character traits include my extreme anger, my belief in honesty and hard work and my aversion to guys.

Funny it is. I was deeply influenced by my dad to be honest in matters of money and merit. I never accepted something which was not duly earned by me. So much so, that I promptly asked my teacher to flunk me when I was in sixth grade...My Math teacher had given me 42/100 (I barely managed to pass...which was good as I'd been flunking in my last two terminals). Much to my dismay, I found out that there was a calculation mistake. My score was only 36/100. I counted and re-counted. It was still 36/100. My heart sank and still I went back to the teacher and asked her to rectify the mistake. She looked at me scornfully (obviously, your math teacher is not going to be very pleased by you, if you tell her that she has committed a calculation error). On second thoughts, she might as well have been thinking whether I was out of my mind! Anyhow, she promptly changed the 42 to 36 with a big red mark, FAIL written on my answer sheet. 

I was happy that day. I had managed to stay true to myself. It's an altogether different fact that the rest of the class was jeering at me, calling me a jerk to have done that! The scolding that I got from my family for failing again didn't make things any better either. 

The next semester I promptly passed, with a score of (hold your breath) 84/100. (thanks to my new math tutor). 
I remember I was crying when I got my answer sheet. I was happy, while the teacher kept glaring at me scornfully. (yes, she hated me for some unfathomable reason. My math teachers have never really liked me anyhow). 

That was years ago. Cut to the present. I'm grown up, still trying to stick to those ideals. People still make fun of me, all the time. And sadly enough, I get to know about it (hurts!). I see people around me , squandering their parent's wealth, flunking, getting fake degrees and they still call me a jerk for I don't drive a posh car ( what posh, I don't even drive a car or a bicycle for that matter), I don't hang out at the famous nightclubs, I'm always slogging, not living my life and  I'm not COOL enough ..whatever.

My most major struggle has been not to give in to sycophancy and believe me, I've been paying quite a heavy price for it for quite some time now. I know my life will be a hell lot easier only If I could tweak my rigid morals a bit here and there...But I am not going to do it. I respect myself. I want to continue respecting myself. 
Maybe I will drive a car one day, the one that is hard earned and I will have enough time to go clubbing and partying without having to worry about my assignments, my submissions, magazines and what not!

Till then, I'll try to be content with my life. I'll try to crib a little less. And make peace with myself because this is the life I chose for myself. 

If you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything ~ Alexander Hamilton

P. S - The pic included is ironical to the content but it pretty much sums up my mental state. It says what my words couldn't.

Men and their stupid inquisitiveness

Let me think of it this way. . . you are only as good as your last performance. A small sabbatical is enough to entitle people around you to point fingers at you and deem you not good enough. You cannot be lucky in every frigging department of your life. I believe I got my fair share of luck in the talent and love department.
And for all those suckers who can't help but stalk me regarding my personal life, this is for you man-bitches
  • I'm very much entitled to my share of personal life. Don't you dare interfere in it unless you are looking forward to be thoroughly insulted. If I trusted you and cared for you enough, I would have kept you in the loop. So, please don't try to figure out the details of my personal life and jump to ridiculous conclusions.
  • Yes, I do not believe in god and in the concept of marriages. You heard me right. So, don't ya dare raise your eyebrows at me and decide that I'm not good enough for you. Because, I'm anyhow way out of your league and I am never going to give you even the remotest illusion that I'm interested in you. Try to accept it.
  • I've had enough of guys who try to lecture me on how I should behave responsibly or get my moral ethics straight. I know my limits very much, thank you. Now, get the fuck out of my zone.
I know that I sound like an arrogant bitch on PMS for what I stated above but truth be told, I'm not. I'm in the most sensible moods of mine when I post this. It's just that I've been too drowned in work and the last thing I could expect was unnecessary male attention. Let me set the record straight for once and all - I'm not interested in you guys, alright?
The irony of life is such.

Men who are nice, well read and have a good sense of humor have got better things to do than hit on me. (And I secretly appreciate them for this)
Men who have got no brains but are all brawl can't stop bothering me. ( And I do not respect you guys at all)

P.S. On second thoughts, I had the most wonderful surprises bestowed on me this Valentines by S. I'm glad some good things are always there. True love is like a pet who will still lick you and love you on your return, no matter how cranky a day you've had at work. Bliss!

Don't let a man put anything over you except an umbrella ~ Mae West