My life is moving too fast...I'm too busy attending classes, finishing assignments, remain perennially nerved up. The best part is that I can't convince myself that I'm learning anything. About Journalism at least (coz that's what the subject for my majors is).
Life is hectic. I wake up, make assignments early morning, get ready while my mom keeps shouting in the background how my life is so disorganized.....how I've made a wreck of my health....How I'm always in a bad mood....how guys would reject me for marriage proposals.....(god, like I really need to know that first thing in the morning! ). Mothers, I tell you.
I usually grab my stuff and rush out of the home, mentally preparing myself for the two hour long delhi-darshan trip to my college. Now, my college is near Chandni Chowk in Old Delhi (very far from my home). I take a bus, then change the metro twice and finally take a rickshaw in order to reach my college. I would have never really discovered this place had it not been for the location of my college. My emotions usually go for a flip whenever I reach Chandni Chowk metro station. I automatically transform from a Spoilt-urban girl to a more thoughtful, compassionate person.
The exit of the metro station is marked by same beggars who greet me everyday, sitting in their exact place, calling out the same blessings. These are the deformed, small children, their mother is selling some random stuff nearby, their younger siblings lying in the shade of trees, busy playing with rags. My heart goes out to them. I'm not much of a charitable person by the way. But I surprised myself the other day when I bought some corn (bhutta) for an old beggar lady who was looking at them with longing eyes. She didn't even realize that I was giving it to her for free, she just took it and went away limping, without caring to throw a second glance. I paid the hawker. "This girl is nuts", he must have thought. He gave a slightly mischievous smile and took the money. Now, it's a habit with me. I buy stuff for these people, when I'm forced to, by my instincts.
I move out of the metro station, take a rickshaw and watch people still sleeping on the pavements, outside Sheeshganj gurudwara. Some of them look doped, maybe they are. Some of them are simply sleeping there for lack of other options. Do they even realize that day has dawned, that traffic is rushing past them, that foreign tourists who are out here to "explore the real Delhi" are clicking them? I guess not. These are the anonymous stars of Real India. Perfect stuff for some documentary on Discovery channel, but someone whom you would not like near you in any other circumstances.
The rickshaw takes a turn, and the majestic Red Fort and Jama Masjid come in view. Interestingly, this bare stretch of one kilometer has a famous gurudwara, Jama Masjid, the beautiful Jain temple and a church. And they say, secularism is a thing of the past.
I reach college and forget all about it. And it happens everyday. I somehow find it strange. I give stuff to beggars, act compassionate because somehow I still believe I'm a very cruel, uncompassionate person who does not visit temples, does not even pray, swears like a sailor and has almost no real friends around. And helping them apart from giving me immense happiness and satisfaction, also gives me some peace of mind. It helps me to reinstate faith in me, it helps me to believe that I'm not a very bad person. Only a bit maybe.