Looking Back.....

We live in excess. We have just too many people around us, just too many things to do, just too many issues to tackle and just too many emotions that we feel. Just too many choices to make and too many moments in future wait for us to contemplate on the what-if's.

And amidst all these excesses, we don't really value anything or anyone till it's gone or is temporarily unavailable. Taking something for granted is always easier than acknowledging, right? 

I am 23 now and kill me for saying it, but I already miss all the good moments I had in my past, wondering if they ever will come back. Yeah, optimism has never been my strong point.
I remember living like crazy when the days were numbered, feeling obligated to rejoice all the good moments cause soon there would be none. Spending all that I had, living in the moment,  not being politically correct and being prone too. Prone to being hurt, be happy, be open to any kind of emotions basically.

I don't do that anymore. Don't get hurt too easily, don't get happy too easily.. 

I have absolutely no clue when and where did those people go from my life. Actually, I do. And it seemed like the most sane and logical thing to happen back then. Looking back, it seems letting them go was the most stupid decision I made. And don't tell me that people are replaceable or shit like, every one has a role to play in someone else's life and then they leave when their part is over.

You might find lots of more people (it's not hard to find more people to interact with), but you can never replace the ones who helped you form your most memorable moments.
Best part? Those very same people seem like completely different individuals now. Time, you are one big manipulative bitch and yet, your bitchiness commands absolute respect.

There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for granted relationships. ~Iris Murdoch


Raphael | December 22, 2011 at 2:57 PM

omg. im a 23 yr old girl, and I already look back at the times that have been..just like you! i mean, i KNOW im still young and alive and kicking, but things were so much crazy back when i was in college..

gah..i sound old.

kp blogging anyway!

Rajat | December 23, 2011 at 12:16 AM

Been there!
You're 23.. I'll be 22 in a few days. And already it seems that the best days of life are gone! Studies are coming to an end.. So no class bunkings and hanging around lazily with friends.. Career resposnibilities are fast approaching.. So Lots of slogging and being on the boss' mercy ahead! Taking care of yourself is getting scarier.. With financial responsibilities on top of everything else!
And yes.. The very thought of having to let go of people who have been there with you the whole time drives you mad..

The silver lining? The past is history and the future is mystery.. So you can as well enjoy your 'present'. Take on each day as it comes. Fight. Be a rebel. Get what you want, on your own terms and with your own attitude. No one will be able to stop you then! :-)

Smriti | December 23, 2011 at 1:13 PM

Quite contrary but I do not regret that the people I've lost didn't make it to my present. Coz I know I had a good enough reason to bid them farewell. And yes, that does mean that I have very less people in my life now than ever before but I know I value the ones I have. :)

P.S. Awesome quote...m sharing ;)