It's back in my life .....

I know I have blogged about it here before. But seriously, loneliness is a dangerous situation to be in. An extended siesta with this feeling can leave you feeling robbed of all the positiveness and happiness inside and around you.  I admit, I'm a chronic victim to loneliness. I've been lonely. A lot. I still am.

Let's just say I live in one of the most populated cities in the world. I am surrounded by a lot of people at work and at parties which I have to attend. And yet, I'm lonely. So lonely that I tend to break down while working, while walking on the road. It's this awful feeling where you realize everybody around you is there only because they want something from you. What about friends, you say?
Friends eventually found other friends, I say. People whom my friends found out to be more fun-loving and more available than I ever could be. Yes, I feel bad that my friends forgot me when I didn't ever gave them a chance to ignore me. But it's alright. They don't care much. I used to keep everything on hold for them, postpone my meetings and work just to spend enough time with them. And they didn't care enough. 

Life is funny. When I was younger, say in college, I always wanted to be at all the happening places with all my friends. They did used to go out but never invited me along. Now, I'm there at all the page 3 parties and major gigs in town, attending the most premier events. Just that I have nobody to hang out with there. It's only I and my work. I go for shopping alone, eat at restaurants alone and have even watched movie shows all alone now. Simply because nobody was interested in accompanying me. 

I try not to feel sorry about myself but then if anybody else would be in my position, I obviously would feel bad for them. Then whom am I fooling? 

There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy ~ Dante


Mads | May 26, 2010 at 12:11 PM

all i can say is...either its just that all ur friends are too tied up in their own stuff...and ur timings clash always, hence u dont end up hanging out with them..or if its on purpose..then u just hv to deal with it...and if its the latter...then i am giving u company, if that helps :P :(

i always said friendship is just a mirage :(
waise by attending these high socialites ke page 3 parties u must be finding everything so fake naa :O

Anonymous | June 17, 2010 at 1:23 PM

wat r u talkin abt??
being a loner rocks yaar!!!u dnt hv to care abt any one, u dnt need to share, and ur happiness does nt depend on other,it depends on u. i hv been a loner all my i luv it . its all in ur mind babe . u take things too seriously(oops i said it again!!).we cn meet,ad talk abt our lonely life over a cup of coffee.hehehe

Anonymous | July 4, 2010 at 12:22 AM

A friend of mine recommended that I read your blog post. Well truth be told, if I were to write a post about how I feel day in and day wouldn't be much different from what you wrote. Yea i know it sounds weird...but trust me...loneliness is not something that you should feel. As for being to parties and all....its not about people on the outside...its about how those people make you's about what you want in life.

To the guy/girl who says being a loner rocks...well people are different. Not everyone wants to be a loner. There are people like me and the OP who love the feeling of being with someone. We are the kinda people who need to feel the presence of others around us...not physically. It's all about how much the people connect to you on the emotional level. You can have the entire world waiting for you...but unless people connect with you on the same's of no use.

I know half of what I said doesnt make sense. Nevermind that I guess.

Prianca | July 4, 2010 at 5:51 PM

@ mads
yup, true
I cant evn stand my fake friends noe, let alone page 3 socialites who are licensed to be hypocritical.
thanks for dropping by~

@ sam
tu apni cup of coffee apne paas rakh and keep rocking in your loneliness. paagal

Prianca | July 4, 2010 at 5:53 PM

@ anonymous
Well, all of it makes sense and thanks for visiting this page. frankly, i was under the illusion that nobody wanders here. So who is this good fellow who has been publicizing my page? mind telling?

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