Bheja Fry

I had often heard that each and every relationship comes with an expiry date. No matter how much you want to retain that bond, one day it will fade away.

There is so much happening in my life right now......sometimes, i never even get the time to sit back and realise if this is what i always wanted.........
I was looking back at my high school pics a few days back with a friend.....though he could only notice the drastic makeover I have undergone (i was a typical bespectacled nerd during my school days). I realised one more thing......I was smiling then. In each of the pics. It was a genuine, carefree smile. Not the fake, forced smile which i reserve especially for occasions, now, whenever someone screams on my face "SAY CHEESE".

One of my friend asked me today, Prianca, do you know yourself?
I didnt knew what to say. because very frankly speaking, i dont know whether i know myself or not.
I'll ask you, the one who is reading this blog,do you know yourself?
You might say Yes or No.
But what if you are forced to undergo this mental metamorphsis. Assume an identity in public, you know you cannot identify with. Then, would you be able to say as confidently that you know yourself?

I no longer try to fit in a group. Coz i never had a group as such. I am what I am. Just trying to be at peace with myself.
I always thought it would be terribly lonely to stay alone. The sheer thought of having no one close to talk to, to share your ups and downs freaks me out. literally.
As my luck would have it, some of the most cherished, precious people in my life are the ones who love staying alone.
Or simly put it in other words, dont feel the need to communicate with me as frequently as i do. Nevertheless, the emotional fool that i am, i know they will always be the most important people in my life.

I used to be a chatterbox once.....notoriously famous for my unending talking sprees. Then, as my friends gradually moved away, i started talking to myself. While travelling alone, while sitting idle, anywhere, anytime.
I talk a lot even today. Though its only in my mind now. It never finds a way out. Apart from these occasional blog posts. And my talks arent as chirpy, lively and optimistic. They are mostly dejected and depressed. As if this blog belongs to some 90 yr old grandma who has been through the prime of her life.

WHat the hell! iI am not even 20 yet.
This will have to change. Coz I hate the way things are right now.
The catch is I dont know how?

i just wonder whether the relationship which one shares with oneself comes with an expiry date too?
coz if it does, i have almost reached it
damn, a middle finger to this fucker feeling.