An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. I can safely say I was not the pessimist this year.
Gotta admit, The year which just went by was one of the most eventful and learning periods of my life. I traveled a lot (and I loved it). I went to Goa, Mumbai, almost to Chennai, Bangalore, Shimla, Chandigarh, Bhopal and obviously roamed around in Delhi like a wanderer left loose.
Considering that I love travelling, this was one of the best periods of life. The best part is that when 2009 arrived, I had no clue that I'm going to travel so much. I didn't had the faintest idea that this year is akin to sitting in a class which imparted me the best learning experience in a subject called "Life".
If only you had known me when I was still out of school, fresh into my graduation. I was so sure about everything, about how anything I did was going to come out perfect and absolutely nothing could go wrong. The truth is that most of the things I did, never really turned out the way I wanted them to be. But the grass is always greener on the other side, right?
This year, I learned a lot. I changed a lot. I look back at the time when I would desperately try to fit among a group of nasty girls in grad college, only to be made fun of. I look back at the time when not reaching home by 6pm in the evening would scare the shit out of me. When having a good time with true friends was never experienced in my life. When even after all the slogging, my grades remained average and S never came into my life.
And then came 2009.
- I traveled extensively. Realized I love visiting new places. It opened up my mind and heart to new people and places.
- I learned to say "no".
- I finally got over my inferiority complex. S made me realize what I am and why I should start giving respect to myself.
- I realized I stay happier when I'm away from humans - the most complex lot. I'm happy when I shut out people with negative vibes, even if it means being rude.
- I learned the trick to deal with people. I genuinely care for them and listen to them if I like them. No questions asked. And they become my friends. Simple.
- Started investing more in relationships than my wardrobe. It paid off.
- I had my first night out (and many more) with friends, finally learnt to let my hair down for a while, partied like crazy, had my share of embarrassing moments when sloshed, took major risks. I do not regret any of these. I'm glad I finally lived my age and did all of it.
- I just hope that I remain the same/improve in the coming year and keep following the mantra of work hard/party harder. **wink wink**
It's like I have too many clones of myself now. And every time I look back, I can see all of them smiling at me for finally I'm happy with myself.
A clone of mine which was in high school - overweight, greasy hair, pimples, yearning for S and struggling with accounts and maths.
A clone of mine which was in college - slightly improved, motivated, hard working, happy-go-lucky, still struggling with skin and heart issues
A clone of mine which was in office - drowned in inferiority complex, fed up of bitching, worrying over her weight issues, crying badly for S.
A person that I'm today - Happily lost in herself, confident, carefree and working hard (only when required).
I know there are many more changes to come in my life in every two-three years and many more clones to follow. I'm just hoping they are better versions than the current one. One might wonder why the hell am I remembering my past right now? Everybody goes through these changes, ain't it?
Actually, I'm not remembering. I'm thanking my stars that I went through all those phases. I'm thanking my past versions (geez, I almost sound like a video game with too many versions :p). My clones remind me of what I don't want to be like anymore. This is what they whisper to me:
Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would, I'd never leave. ~A.A. Milne